If the shoe fits.

**Disclaimer** This post is not directed at any one person, the thoughts are just conversations that have happened around our house.

The other day I was on Facebook, again and one of the links I "like" is Living beyond breast cancer.  They posed a question for their forum, "What was the hardest thing for you when your treatment was over?".  So many people commented that their hardest thing was that people stopped helping.  That even after the radiation has ended that you still feel the effects of it and are still fatigued.  I read this post and comments to Aunt Carol and our answer was at least I will not have that let down.  Again, please read the disclaimer.  I am not complaining.  I am just surprised by some peoples inactions.  I think we are all disappointed by some people and I think we (Aunt Carol, Jeff and I) have different lists of things that disappoint us.  I am not looking for someone to show up and clean my house, I know it is a undertaking and I am specific about it.  Or show up every night with food, however it kills me inside when people say, "I would drop food off, however, my cooking does not compare yours"  Thank you for the compliments on my cooking, I am very proud of my cooking skills considering I failed home-ec twice.  However, home cooked food from anyone is still better than Foo-Chow or Albi's or a chicken from Sams club, which is what we are eating alot of now.  Maybe because I am not the "squeaky wheel" people do not understand that this is hard.  Chemo sucks.  And from what I hear radiation is not a picnic in the park either.  I guess it is a good thing that I do not have feeling on most of my left side, at least I will not feel the pain from the radiation.

I remember the first week of my diagnosis my hair dresser introduced me to a 14 year survivor who also was diagnosed in her 30s.  One of the things she said to me that I thought was harsh was that this will open my eyes and I will be able to write people off.  I thought HOW TERRIBLE.  I could never write anyone off.  Six months into this, I can see her point.  How sad is that.  Last night as I was giving Maddie her bath, Jeff and I again brought this topic up.  I will not allow peoples inactions get me down or bother me.  I will not sweat over it, my life is too precious not to surround myself by people who want to be with us, in good times and shitty times, like this.