But it is not this year. My burns are pretty severe and the earliest Dr. F will do the surgery is January. So I am penciled in to get them for Kathy's birthday. I was really hoping for my cousin Debs birthday. But I guess another month isn't too bad. However that means my toe sand date will be pushed back too. I will have to wear a sports bra for 4-6 weeks and no raising my arms more than 90 degrees. I think we will have to put Maddie in a bed by then.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Great day!!
I had my follow up with Dr M today. He was sad to see how burnt I am. However knows I will heal just fine and that my December timeline is attainable. We discussed my port and he is more than fine with me taking it out. We discussed that of my cancer came back we would just have to put one back in. My blood was perfect!! So while at SAMs today I got a flu shot. I will follow up with him in three months and then we will do a pet scan!
Tomorrow I meet with Dr F, I hope he is as pleased and we can move forward, maybe we can even book my next surgery. I am really looking forward to the new year and some sand between my toes.
Tomorrow I meet with Dr F, I hope he is as pleased and we can move forward, maybe we can even book my next surgery. I am really looking forward to the new year and some sand between my toes.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Put a fork in ME!!
Because I am finally done!! No more chemicals, no more poisons, no more zapping!!! I can not begin to describe how I feel right. I would shout with excitement if it wouldn't wake Maddie up from her nap.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Just hold on a minute...
Before you hit send on that congratulatory email, order those flowers or even pick up the phone today was not my last day of radiation.
It started this morning when Maddy from the radiation office called to tell me that the machine was being serviced and they would need to push back my appointment. My new time was at 2:30. I called Aunt Carol to tell her and to say I was running to target and price chopper, strip steaks are on sale this week!! She wanted to go so my Maddie and I headed up to get her. We did all our errands and AC picked up lunch for her and M and I headed to radiation. There was a crazy amount of traffic at the toll booth for the bridge and dumb drivers that do not know how to merge. I was ten minutes late for my last Zapping. But I was still on cloud 9 since I was going to be done. I ran In to the locker room changed quickly and went to find the techs. I got onto the table and lined up very quickly. I asked what was up with the machine and they explained that it was having airflow issues and was shutting down. The ladies left the room an I heard the machine kick on and I waited for the buzz sound. Nothing.... I heard the machine restart again, and nothing then I heard one of the techs shoe in the room. I asked what was wrong and they said the machine was acting up again. They tried to over ride it but no go... So now tomorrow will be my last day... I keep laughing about it however I think I am on the verge of loosing it.
It started this morning when Maddy from the radiation office called to tell me that the machine was being serviced and they would need to push back my appointment. My new time was at 2:30. I called Aunt Carol to tell her and to say I was running to target and price chopper, strip steaks are on sale this week!! She wanted to go so my Maddie and I headed up to get her. We did all our errands and AC picked up lunch for her and M and I headed to radiation. There was a crazy amount of traffic at the toll booth for the bridge and dumb drivers that do not know how to merge. I was ten minutes late for my last Zapping. But I was still on cloud 9 since I was going to be done. I ran In to the locker room changed quickly and went to find the techs. I got onto the table and lined up very quickly. I asked what was up with the machine and they explained that it was having airflow issues and was shutting down. The ladies left the room an I heard the machine kick on and I waited for the buzz sound. Nothing.... I heard the machine restart again, and nothing then I heard one of the techs shoe in the room. I asked what was wrong and they said the machine was acting up again. They tried to over ride it but no go... So now tomorrow will be my last day... I keep laughing about it however I think I am on the verge of loosing it.
Maintenance
This happened on Friday too. I got a call that the Froc machine was getting maintenance an they would need to reschedule my appointment for later. Well the same thing just happened they are hoping to see me at 2:30. They just pushed my finish line a little further.
This one is for you Marianne
I never thought I would think of my port fondly. I found it very annoying. I can still feel it in me and it is annoying. However not like it was. I don't know if it is because I have other areas that are more sensitive right now or if it is because we are not accessing it weekly. However I do feel a little more attached to it.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Anxiety
I have a bit of anxiety about Monday. This has been a long and exhausting marathon. I am both glad to see the finish line and scared at the same time. My type of breast cancer is triple negative so we do not have a clue what "fueled" my cancer. I can not take other meds to fight my disease. I have done all we can to fight this. As of Next Tuesday I will not be given anything to beat back or kill my cancer. It begins a new chapter of waiting to see if everything we have done worked. I am not good at waiting. I am much better when busy and fighting.
Differences
There are three types of oncologists, surgical, medical and radiation. The surgical oncologist was very worried about my pain and management off it. They tried different cocktails of meds and reminded me to take colase. The medical oncologist gave me more pain meds, meds to help if I spent too much time in the bathroom, and several types of anti-nausea meds. Both wanted me to not feel the effects of surgery or the poisons they gave me. For some reason the radiation oncologist makes me feel like a baby when it comes to pain. I am a firm believer in "push through" the pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I was dressed and ready to go home 24 hours after a major surgery. However I get third degree burns an they make me feel like I am belly aching. The radiation doc did apologize for the severity of my burns and said that radiation is more of an art than science. Since they want the skin to burn however not too much, the burn does not happen right away either. When I met with him yesterday he said he was glad that I pushed the issue on Friday to get the numbing cream. I don't know why they just did not give me an rx for that from the get go. I walked around for awhile with a cipro rx before I needed it why not do the same.
The pain is still pretty bad and I find wearing a bra excruciating. The burns are not as dry any more and now I am being monitored for an infection. I am looking forward to Monday, however that brings on a whole new set of emotions I will blog about in a different post.
The pain is still pretty bad and I find wearing a bra excruciating. The burns are not as dry any more and now I am being monitored for an infection. I am looking forward to Monday, however that brings on a whole new set of emotions I will blog about in a different post.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wait wait wait
Well here I am at my radiation appointment and they are not ready for me. I just heard one of the techs on the phone with someone in Putnam saying that you should be here to do the new mapping plan. I think they are talking about me since I am starting a new step today. Just stinks Putnam is 45 mins from here. They could give me a little heads up but they don't. I only have to deal with the for 5 more days!! I will have a follow up with the doc in 6 weeks however I do not plan to keep following up with them. My medical oncologist will be taking lead on this stuff ;)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Ugggg
My firsts are seconds my seconds are thirds. I'm talking about my burns of course. Since my skin was not cracked open or bleeding they continued with the treatment. I am glad that it was not delayed. I just hate this whole part. I'm waiting for the numbing cream to kick in.
It's all a lie
If someone says to me again that radiation is the easy part I may loose it. This leg of my marathon sucks!! It hurts. I have an oils and three different creams and nothing relieves the pain. Today is my last zapping of the 4 areas. Starting tomorrow I will have 5 days of just my scar. I do not have much feeling there so I am anticipating it will not be that bad. I hope I am right. I am really looking forward to this being over!! I can not wait for next Monday.
What a nice weekend
We started our weekend off with a wedding it was very nice. I had a blast dancing with Jeff!!
Saturday we did a very upstate NY thing. Apple and pumpkin picking. Gayle and I had made these plans shortly after Lauren and Scott's wedding. Aunt Ann and Uncle Artie also came for the festivities. It was such a nice day and Maddie had a blast. She loved tasting the apples along the way. Aunt Ann and Uncle Artie left shortly after we got back to our house. Gayle and Tom spent the night and left fairly early Sunday. We had such a nice weekend!!
Saturday we did a very upstate NY thing. Apple and pumpkin picking. Gayle and I had made these plans shortly after Lauren and Scott's wedding. Aunt Ann and Uncle Artie also came for the festivities. It was such a nice day and Maddie had a blast. She loved tasting the apples along the way. Aunt Ann and Uncle Artie left shortly after we got back to our house. Gayle and Tom spent the night and left fairly early Sunday. We had such a nice weekend!!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Do you consider yourself healthy?
Our insurance has started to cover LASIK, well part of it anyway. It is something we (Jeff and I) have spoken about a lot. I was always scared until this year. It has never been about loosing my vision, it is more the anticipation of pain or what it would be like. I figured after this year I could so just about anything. Since we need to decide about our insurance in a few days I made some calls yesterday. I was asked by the first office "do you consider yourself healthy"? I said yes, (enough laughing) however I am being treated for breast cancer. The second office said the same and they both said I would not be a good candidate for the surgery for at least another year.
I didn't really give it a second thought. Jeff and I talked about it last night and he asked if I was ok with the question and answer. I said yes because I consider myself pretty healthy except for that one part. I try to exercise each day even if it is just some yoga. I eat pretty well and have lost 6lbs in the past week. When I bite off more than I can chew and Aunt Carol gets mad at me for Doing it she likes to remind me that "You are sick".
I don't think at any point I have thought of myself as sickly. I have this "crap" going on but I plan to be just fine. I plan to beat this out of me. Why else would I have done all I have. Am I wrong? Should I think differently? Should I say I am sick?
I didn't really give it a second thought. Jeff and I talked about it last night and he asked if I was ok with the question and answer. I said yes because I consider myself pretty healthy except for that one part. I try to exercise each day even if it is just some yoga. I eat pretty well and have lost 6lbs in the past week. When I bite off more than I can chew and Aunt Carol gets mad at me for Doing it she likes to remind me that "You are sick".
I don't think at any point I have thought of myself as sickly. I have this "crap" going on but I plan to be just fine. I plan to beat this out of me. Why else would I have done all I have. Am I wrong? Should I think differently? Should I say I am sick?
Friday, October 7, 2011
Article...
This article has been brought to my attention...
I have not gone back to the gym yet. Part of it is my blood the other part is just time management. I know I need to find the time to go. I do feel that keeping up with Maddie is exercise. I completely agree with the writer David. I feel so much better when I am active I feel "normal" and forget that I have cancer. Some days it is hard to find the motivation to get moving and would love to just sit, however once I get going I do feel so much better!! I plan to start walking up at the walkway next week. I think aunt Carol will join us. I will also loom into my free three months at the gym. No more excuses, I must loose this extra weight and be fit!!
Exercise and Conditioning Improves Cancer Survival Chances
Cancer has a way of taxing the body and mind beyond capacity. The body is compromised, strength evaporates, muscles deteriorate and the mind has difficulty accepting the changes that have occurred.
A strong, fit body has built in reserves of energy that help a patient through the various stages of treatment and recovery. This reserve of strength helps one’s body recover from the draining effects of chemotherapy and radiation, which results in significant debilitating fatigue.
Many hospitals PT programs and some fitness centers realize that keeping strength at the best possible levels has some value in reducing the effects of chemotherapy, as well as the reducing the swelling of lymphedema, the loss of muscle tone, the effects of breast cancer, and even rare diseases like mesothelioma. Modern oncologists no longer subscribe to the old methods of dealing with cancer, which essentially kept patients bed-ridden, without any exercise program. They now recommend that cancer patients undergoing treatment, or those in recovery, get involved in some sort of exercise programs like walking and stretching.
Doctors agree that a patient should determine his/her level of activity, and not over do. Quite often, the name and example of Lance Armstrong the world champion cyclist is brought up as an example of the benefits of exercise. Mr. Armstrong made a remarkable recovery from testicular cancer after imposing an extremely strenuous exercise program. He did race again, but we must remember that, as a dedicated athlete, exercise had been a part of his life for many years.
Researchers noticed that those people who watched their diets and exercised on a regular basis were less likely to develop cancer. The National Cancer Institute, in a 2006 study noted that patients who engaged in moderate exercise like walking and resistance exercise with rubber exercise bands had less fatigue and better aerobic capacity than those who did not. Dana-Farber Institute reported 50% lower mortality rates for colon cancer victims who regularly exercised after their cancer was diagnosed. Similar results are expected for mesothelioma treatment patients.
Fatigue in cancer patients, though not a disease in itself, causes some loss of function, and reduces physical activity. The resulting improvement in strength does not bring the patients up to normal levels, but there is measurable improvement in the daily lives of many.
The conclusions are not complete, but more and more oncologists have bought into prescribing exercise and core strengthening techniques. People, whom have always exercised and are aware of their bodies, will usually stay on the path. Others who have just recently been prescribed a program will be urged to continue. Everyone’s body should tell him or her what amount of exercise is right for them.
By: David Haas
A strong, fit body has built in reserves of energy that help a patient through the various stages of treatment and recovery. This reserve of strength helps one’s body recover from the draining effects of chemotherapy and radiation, which results in significant debilitating fatigue.
Many hospitals PT programs and some fitness centers realize that keeping strength at the best possible levels has some value in reducing the effects of chemotherapy, as well as the reducing the swelling of lymphedema, the loss of muscle tone, the effects of breast cancer, and even rare diseases like mesothelioma. Modern oncologists no longer subscribe to the old methods of dealing with cancer, which essentially kept patients bed-ridden, without any exercise program. They now recommend that cancer patients undergoing treatment, or those in recovery, get involved in some sort of exercise programs like walking and stretching.
Doctors agree that a patient should determine his/her level of activity, and not over do. Quite often, the name and example of Lance Armstrong the world champion cyclist is brought up as an example of the benefits of exercise. Mr. Armstrong made a remarkable recovery from testicular cancer after imposing an extremely strenuous exercise program. He did race again, but we must remember that, as a dedicated athlete, exercise had been a part of his life for many years.
Researchers noticed that those people who watched their diets and exercised on a regular basis were less likely to develop cancer. The National Cancer Institute, in a 2006 study noted that patients who engaged in moderate exercise like walking and resistance exercise with rubber exercise bands had less fatigue and better aerobic capacity than those who did not. Dana-Farber Institute reported 50% lower mortality rates for colon cancer victims who regularly exercised after their cancer was diagnosed. Similar results are expected for mesothelioma treatment patients.
Fatigue in cancer patients, though not a disease in itself, causes some loss of function, and reduces physical activity. The resulting improvement in strength does not bring the patients up to normal levels, but there is measurable improvement in the daily lives of many.
The conclusions are not complete, but more and more oncologists have bought into prescribing exercise and core strengthening techniques. People, whom have always exercised and are aware of their bodies, will usually stay on the path. Others who have just recently been prescribed a program will be urged to continue. Everyone’s body should tell him or her what amount of exercise is right for them.
By: David Haas
I have not gone back to the gym yet. Part of it is my blood the other part is just time management. I know I need to find the time to go. I do feel that keeping up with Maddie is exercise. I completely agree with the writer David. I feel so much better when I am active I feel "normal" and forget that I have cancer. Some days it is hard to find the motivation to get moving and would love to just sit, however once I get going I do feel so much better!! I plan to start walking up at the walkway next week. I think aunt Carol will join us. I will also loom into my free three months at the gym. No more excuses, I must loose this extra weight and be fit!!
Outside
This weather has been wonderful!!! So Maddie and I have been spending our afternoons outside. Here are some pics of her this week 
Wait is that a deer....
The other day as I pulled in the driveway after radiation I noticed two small deer at the end of my driveway near the fence. We have seen these deer before however not there. They seemed lost, they clearly wanted to cut through our yard however we have a fence. I was worried if I kept driving down the driveway that the deer would react and either jump on Aunt Carols car that was parked in the driveway, run into my car or worse run into the open garage. I thought for a moment, took out my phone took a couple of pictures (I wish I could zoom on my iPhone camera) and called the house so AC could show Maddie the deer. I then backed out of the driveway parked on the street and went in the front door. I went out to the back yard and shoo'ed the deer. They ran around the front of the house to the other side of our fence and back to their home. Now every time I back out of the garage I fear that the deer will be there. So before I get in he car I look outside to make sure the coast is clear. Here are some pics...
My week
I'm sorry I have not posted for a bit. I'm not too sure how my time flies by so quickly.
This week has been pretty good. Sunday was our seven year anniversary Seven years sometimes it feels like yesterday and other days it feels like it was forever ago. We did not do much of anything. I did buy Jeff a card however never sat down to fill it out, next year. We did talk about going out to dinner however Maddie was not in a great mood on Sunday and to be honest the Giants game was at 4pm so how could we go out to eat and ignore the game. So we did take out from the diner.
My week of radiation has been moving right along. Counting today I only have 12 more treatments!! I have developed a rash. They said it is normal, not everyone gets it however it is not unusual to see either. My blood this week was perfect!! If it continues I will be cleared to get a flu shot, go to the dentist, eat sushi and get a manicure. The doc I saw yesterday said I could get a pedicure, however I am missing a couple of toenails so I will skip that.
This week has been pretty good. Sunday was our seven year anniversary Seven years sometimes it feels like yesterday and other days it feels like it was forever ago. We did not do much of anything. I did buy Jeff a card however never sat down to fill it out, next year. We did talk about going out to dinner however Maddie was not in a great mood on Sunday and to be honest the Giants game was at 4pm so how could we go out to eat and ignore the game. So we did take out from the diner.
My week of radiation has been moving right along. Counting today I only have 12 more treatments!! I have developed a rash. They said it is normal, not everyone gets it however it is not unusual to see either. My blood this week was perfect!! If it continues I will be cleared to get a flu shot, go to the dentist, eat sushi and get a manicure. The doc I saw yesterday said I could get a pedicure, however I am missing a couple of toenails so I will skip that.
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