Recently we Jeff started listening to Imus in the morning. On days I get up before Maddie does I have been watching the show too. Imus likes to tell everyone that he has cancer, if someone asks how he is, his reply is I have cancer, how do you think? I dont think he says it for sympathy or for the shock value in it. I think it cuts down on him hearing a lot of crap from people.
On Friday we got a nice letter from Central Hudson, telling us we are energy abusers. Aunt Carol was here and even though she is retired from there still spews the company line. She told me that I had the house too cool on Friday that on very hot days CH recommends keeping he thermostat at 78. I said I thought I was being good for keeping it at 74. I also said why dont they do Robo calls to tell people what they should be keeping their thermostat on, I didnt know I should be keeping it at 78. In the letter it also we are using more energy this year than last. I said I will try to keep the house warmer than my normal 70 or 71. Jeff's retort was you have cancer and if you are hot, make the house cooler. We will try to be "greener" next year.
I think it is so easy for people to forget that I do have cancer. I push myself to try and be as normal as I was. I try not to succumb to the ill effects of the chemo or neupogen. When you look at me I look pretty normal, well as normal as I can look with out much hair. I am reminded all the time. From the funny taste in my mouth, to the tingly toe nails or to my missing boob. Yes, I say it looks more normal but it still is not there, I still have a seven inch scar across it, I still do not have feeling there. And, I am reminded of this every time I change, put clothes on or shower. I never noticed how annoying it is to have a mirror across from our clear glass shower doors before this.
One of the side effects to taxol is that my nails will get funny and probably fall off. Well it has started. My toe nail on my big left toe is getting funny and I think if I touched it, it would come off. Good thing I am not a foot toucher. My finger nails are cracking too. I am trying to keep both my feet and hand moisturised but I think it is just enviable that they will go. It isnt too painful. It is more of an annoying burning feeling at the nail beds.
Saturday we decided to go dress shopping. I did come home with two very nice dresses. Im not sure either one really fits the bill. It is very hard to find clothes. I am still lopsided, my expander is higher than my real boob so I am always "fixing" them. I can not keep up a strapless bra, so I need a dress that I can wear a bra with. I also want it to cover the scar from my port and not really draw attention to my uneveness. All the steroids and my addiction to cookies have made me gain 19lbs. I look and feel like a blimp. I should really be on the treadmill and not blogging...... After the dresses we hit nordstrom for some closed toe shoes. All my dressy shoes are open toed, you can see that might not look pretty when my toe nails fall off. Shoe shopping and the burger from Bobby's Burger Palace where the highlight of my day. I have never had so many options for shoes. I got a great pair of red shoes. I did try on a pair with a lovely red soul!!! I was shocked how comfortable they where. I could not run a marathon in them, but...
I just could not spend that on shoes. However if someone wants to send me a gift?????
Screw CH, you pay your bill- you are entitled to have your house at any temp you want. I, living on the south, have mine @ 72 day and night. So- keep it at whatever you are comfortable with, besides, you're the one with Cancer-- not CH.
ReplyDeleteAbout the shoes, coming from a reformed shoe addict (maybe I'm reformed b/c I don't have a job?!?!?), but what your feet are comfortable in that you can reasonably afford. You've had enough pain in the last few mos that uncomfortable shoes are the last thing you need.