Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Monday, March 28, 2011

Port update

Realized I had not let everyone m ow how I am doing, I'm ok. I am sore and looking forward to taking some pain meds once Maddie goes to sleep. Except for the three hour wait everything went well. I was in and out of surgery very quickly, my anatomy cooperated again.

More Surgery today

We will be heading to the ghetto soon. I am having my port put in today. I hope our visit to St Lukes is better than my trip there on Friday.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Started my weekend with a $4 bottle of wine and it ended it with a whittled nipple

How is that for a title........

On Friday I needed help with Maddie.  Aunt Carol had a party to go to and Jeff had to be in the city.  After asking a few people Dan came to the rescue.  All I had to do was make dinner for him.  If I havent stated it recently, I love my IPHONE.  I downloaded a cooking app, put in a few ingredients we had in the house and out came a recipe for chicken cacciatore.  The recipe called for a very dry red wine, so off to mid-valley I went.  I did not want to waste time so as soon as I went in I asked for a dry red to cook with.  They have have always recommend great wines, so I followed the lady.  She said not to laugh, the wine was on sale for $3.99 (it was normally $4.99).  The sales lady said it was a good drinking wine too, so I bought two....
As I was cooking I tasted the wine and it was really good.  I showed it to Dan and he has had it before and enjoyed it.  By the time Jeff made it home we had finished that bottle and started another.  Most of the first bottle was in the food.  After Maddie went to bed the second bottle of my spending spree was opened.  At this point neither Dan or I could have pulled off any sort of joke on Jeff, so we just made him guess what I spent on it.  He stated with $5, I said no he said $50 (which I would not do unless it was for a special reason).  Dan decided to spill the beans and tell Jeff what I spent.  We some how got on the topic of my surgery and pathology and some of my questions and concerns.  I had said that before they took my bandages off that I was hoping my nipple would still be there.  I knew from what Laurie and  from every thing I read that it would not be, but I still hoped.  I was sent a copy of my pathology report and right there it stated my nipple was in Teterboro, NJ.  Dan didnt understand either why they just could not clean it off and re-attach it.  Jeff didnt get why I felt so attached to my nipple but not the whole boob, which is in NJ as well.  Honestly I dont know why I wanted my nipple.  Jeff assured me that all the doctors that I have seen said that they would make me a new one.  Im not sure how I can have such a candid conversation with Dan yet laugh the entire time.  Friday ended very late.....

Saturday was pretty normal we went to Queens to celebrate Grandpas birthday.  No one was concerned about my nipple.

Sunday (today) Christina came up or over, what ever.  We went to Sams (because who doesnt come to the 'burgh and want to go to Sams club).   We some how got on the topic of Friday and my $4 wine and how good it was.  We also talked about dumb things people say to me or silly things they assume.  Aunt Carol, who does not have a strong stomach for things had asked about my nipple, I told her it was in Teterboro, NJ.  Then we talked about reconstruction, I told her that at my secondary (breast surgery) they would make one for me from thigh fat.  Aunt Carol looked so relieved, she thought they took skin from the wall of what Oprah calls her Va-Jay-Jay.... I assured her that they would not be doing that.  When we got home from Sams we visited with Jeff a bit and Christina said that she could not believe where Aunt Carol thought my new nipple would come from.  Which is how we got to whittled nipples.  Dr F had said in one of our many meetings that he would just whittle a new one.   Jeff sort of pictured the fairy god mother from Cinderella wand and all, bipity bopity NEW NIPPLE. Christina pictured some old man sitting on porch with a stick and a knife whittling away making me a new nipple.  We laughed alot. 

So to recap my weekend, people seem concerned about my nipple, its in New Jersey... And I got a pretty good bottle of wine for a great price. 

Thursday, March 24, 2011

One step closer to a new boob

I know every day I am a step closer, however today I actually got a fake one.  I have been wearing a sports bra since I got the okay a week after my surgery.  Each time I saw Dr F, I would ask when can I wear a bra?  He sent me to a place called Underneath it all.  It is a shop that specializes in prosthetics, special bras, bathing suits and wigs. 

We started with wigs.  I will be honest, I am not looking forward to loosing my hair.  I am not someone who likes to be the center of attention and I feel that if I do not have hair people will notice and ask what is wrong.  Jeff anticipating how much I am stressing over this decided to be Jeff and make fun off the entire situation.  I tried on about a half a dozen wigs and of course chose the first one I had on.  Wigs have more hair than I have so they all looked too puffy and full for me.  There are also 40 colors we could choose from.  Me being boring me went with something as close to what my hair looks like as I possibly could.  I dont know why this part seems so hard for me. 

Now to the fun part, what I was really there for, even boobs.  Jeff asked why I keep wearing zip up hoodies, it is because they hid how uneven I am.  They brought me into a fitting room and measured me.  They came back with some bras and inserts.  I was a bit skeptical since they brought in a bra with out underwire.  How was that bra going to hold up my right boob?  Well it did.. I did all my normal calisthenics, I jumped and twisted, bent over and nothing, it held me in.  This bra was not tight and will not leave ridges on my body.  I am in love!! Who knew.  It gets better they bring in a camisole and again, I have never been able to wear anything with a shelf bra.  Well, that held me in too.  I look even again. Tomorrow I will wear a normal sweater!!!!!!! 

Fill 'Er up.....

Today we went back into the city to see Dr Friedman for what in the plastic surgery/mastectomy world is called a fill. 

My personality type is that I need to know all the details of something that is going to go on.  I need to anticipate every thing, which usually leaves me a nervous wreck.  I decided today to go in blindly.  They explained to me how it was done, however I did not google it at all. 

This morning while on the train I was emailing  back and forth with a friend who asked, what the details of the fill are, and I said I didnt even look.  Which for anyone that knows me, knows how odd that is for me.  Christina googled it to anticipate what I might say to her later.  She was kind enough to say to me, I googled it however the pictures are not work appropriate.

We got to Dr. F's office and they took me right away.  I got into the room and put on the lovely blue gown that they leave out for me.  His nurse came in and took off my bandage I had on, last week I looked a little red so he had me put triple antibiotic and put a bandage on my incision.  The redness had not been going away so I over applied the ointment. Did you know you could use too much?  Just a little is better than more when it comes to ointments.  Both the nurse and Doc are happy with my healing (which is all my family is concerned about, the rate of my healing).  So I laid back and the nurse brought out the purple pen to mark where my injection would go.  She then said very soft spokenly not to look at the needle.  I tried not to, however Jeff was with me and said "You should see the size of this thing, it looks like a horse needle". Great here I am topless in a blue gown and there are three people larger than me in front of the door so there is no escaping.  Honestly it was nothing.  Yes there was a slight sting when the needle pierced my skin but that was it.  I am not in pain now, I feel tight like the said I would.  I plan to take two more Tylenol before I go to bed.

BRAC 1 and 2 negative, Wise Ass Positive

Jeff has brought it to my attention that I have been very matter of fact here lately.  Im sorry, it isnt because we are not laughing because we are.  Maddie keeps us laughing all the time, she cracks us up and herself. 

The other night I made one of our favorite side dishes with dinner, sauted peas and lentils with garlic.  Maddie LOVES this dish.  We havent had it for a bit because I have really just started to take back all the cooking.  Dont worry it was handed back to me with pleasure.  So the three of us are sitting at the table and Maddie decided we needed some comic relief so she stuffed a lentil up her nose.  I of course as sternly as I could said NO, Jeff on the other hand almost fell off of his chair which lead to an repeat performance this time with a pea. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Busy Day

Im not too sure why I feel like it was so busy but it was.  I met with Dr Reichman about putting my port in.  He assured me it is not painful and he was going to address the pain comments with the doc who told me "It's gonna hurt".  I may not be able to talk to this doctor again until after I am 100% better.  I feel it is kind of like when I made my communion and I was banned from playing with him and his brothers in fear I would have black and blue legs or something in a cast or a fat lip....  Or maybe he has just figured our how to get to me after all this time.

I decided on using Dr Zak for chemo.  I called and told him that today and he was very nice about coordinating everything and calling all the other docs involved.  I did like the doctor I met with yesterday and I will write him a note to thank him for his time and let him know I decided on a practice closer to home.  Their facilities where they give chemo are pretty much the same so why go to Fishkill when I can just go to Price Chopper. 

My port will be put in on Monday the 28th and since I would prefer my treatments to be at the beginning of the week I will start them the following week.  Either on a Monday or Tuesday, we will see which day is less busy.  I am going there to get better not make friends so I a would not like to be with any "chatty Cathy's" or be forced to watch Judge Judy or Wendy Williams...  That would just do me in.  I have plenty of books to read though :o)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Saint Jack

I had the radio on the other day and they where talking about making Pope John Paul a saint and the process and it got me thinking we need to add our Jack to that list.  He is 13.5 years old.  We are this third home after the track the first one he was beaten in, the second one though they loved him could not afford to really feed him.  Then he came to us, Jessie allowed him to share the couch with her so we knew he was a keeper.  Yes, he has his issues, but they are manageable.  Jack has the patients of a saint with Maddie.  He allows her to try and put her shoes on his feet.  When he is sleeping soundly on the dog beds she likes to bring him a pillow or cover him with her blanket or give him a baby doll to snuggle with.  He also tries to stay as still as possible when she attempts to sit with him.  He responds as quickly as he can when she yells "JACK JAACK".   Of course most of the time she yells for him it is to toss him some food.  Im not sure we could add another dog into this circus until Maddie is older, and understands that not all dogs are as patient as Jack is. 

I can see the Sun

I am so happy that the Mets decided to release Ollie P.  He truly caused so much heart ache, I wasnt sure how I could handle chemo and Ollie at the same time. 

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Warm and Fuzzy

I keep getting asked when I will start chemo, the first week of April, if I find an Oncologist.  I have met three so far.  The first one I really liked and the facility but it is not local and not practical so they are out.  If it was just chemo every two weeks that would be okay but I need to have injections and blood checks so it is more of a commitment.  I met a doc up here on Tuesday, and he was really nice but I didnt get that warm fuzzy feeling that everyone says I will have when I meet the right doc.  I met another one yesterday and her office smelled like a litter box so she is out.  I set up two more appointments for next week with two others.  I dont know what my problem is.....  Cleaning people and Oncologists....................

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Normal Tuesday

On Saturday Jeff took my "free" turkey out of the freezer.  I cooked it today.  In normal fashion I cooked a 20lbs turkey for three of us.  Jeff was talking to Dan  about my doctor appointment today.  When I said to Jeff , tell him if he can be here in 20 mins he can have a home cooked meal.  So it was Jeff, Maddie, Me (Jack) and Dan.  What a normal night.  :o)

Surprises

I am not sure why I let people surprise me, but I do.  I should not be shocked by the people who have checked in and the ones who have not.  I have a friend who has a life and a busy one at that.  That friend checks in at least every other day to see if there is anything I need.  I have others that have not called at all and do not have the same responsibilities.  Oh well, maybe someday I will learn.

Auditions

Yesterday I auditioned new cleaning people.  They did a very good job.  There are a few things that they missed that I will point out.  All cleaning people seem over concerned with making my bed but not dusting the head board, that drives me nuts and they all seem to miss that half wall back the back stair case.  I did ask them back for a second time on 4/1 and for those of you that know me that is an accomplishment to get asked back.

I met with an oncologist up here today and he was very knowledgeable.  Jeff yelled at me for being a snob.  He said the two docs I keep asking what to do are from here (Newburgh) not the city.  Which beside Catherine (who is in Fl) I truly rely on these two docs opinions.  I hope to have my mind made up on an Oncologist this week with a start time in early April. 

Jeff suggested a pre-chemo family trip, just a long weekend.  We do not know how I will react to chemo.  It was so nice to have that time off and great family time before my mastectomy.  I'm not sure where we will go, I am sure it will either be Miami or maybe Orlando again.  I would want a flight out of Stewart........

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Pathology

Yesterday we went into BI to get my full pathology report.  It came back as we expected.  I am NOT gene positive (which is a good thing).  The larger of the two areas that where tested was 4.5cm the other area which was the smaller one that tested positive but disapeared durring the needle biopsy was only mms.  So I would have a standard protocol of chemo a combo drug every two weeks for 4 treatments followed by another drug every two weeks for 4 treatments. Followed by a month of daily radiation, all of this will fit into my one year time limit. My veins are not stellar so I will have to have a port, I was hoping I didnt have to have any more surgery for a while but at least it is done on an out patient basis.  They staged me yesterday and I am an early stage 2 node negative.  Now I just need to find the right facility for me.

The typo police...

 While waiting to get my pathology report yesterday someone decided to read my blog and point out all errors so today I will be be doing some editing. 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

80's Rock, Hair Bands

Bet you did think that would be a title.....
After Maddie woke up from her morning nap and had lunch we went to SAMs club. I got the ok for the sports bra and I do not look like a one boob'ed women so out we went. I felt like I was there for a lifetime but it was only an hour. When we got home Maddie and I took a little nap while Jeff did some work, I would have liked a longer nap. Then the dinner topic started, I think after lastnights multi step dinner Jeff didn't feel like cooking so we headed to the rive to eat at Billy Joes ribworks. Jeff set up Maddies seat while I held her hand the music was really loud and Bon Jovi came on.  Maddie went nuts you would have thought Mickey Mouse was there. When we got home I did a search on pandora for hair bands and there it was. I tuned in and turned it up and my baby girl rocked out while getting her bath and after. Who knew we could listen to a little journey along with Laurie Berkner.

I showered myself

And I think I did a pretty darn good job. I also shaved, I know way too much info... I still can not shave my left arm or wear deodorant but at least I can do the right side.  Can you imagine if my surgery was in August, I would stink.  I also am wearing a bra, a sports one but at least my right side does not look so much like an old lady anymore.  I couldn't hook it myself, Jeff had to do that but at least I am feeling and looking some what normal.  We might actually leave the house for a non-medical trip today.  Yesterday was the doctor visit, Saturday night was a family trip to walgreens (Maddie and I stayed in the car). 

I discussed pain meds with Dr Friedman yesterday.  Everyone seems so concerned with how I am managing my pain, if I need something I usually speak up.  I had been taking the pain killers that they send me home with, I felt they where a bit too strong and harsh, plus the dreams I had on them where exhausting.  I had taken a couple Aleve, but that inhibits platelet regrowth,  so extra strength tylenol it is and a benedryl if I am having trouble sleeping.  I dont like taking pills.  It was funny because when I was in the hospital last week and they tried to manage my pain I just kept telling them I didnt think I was this much of a wimp I hated that I needed meds.  I am glad that I did not do the natural tissue exchange, I may very well still be in the hospital.  How is a 9hr surgery and 6 day hospital stay attractive for anyone, even if you get new boobs and a tummy tuck.  My fat butt (if you remember that is the only place I had enough fat to make two from)  will be back to Golds and taking Zumba classes as soon as I can so I can ward off that surgery.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Follow up and lunch

Like a dog, I am very food motivated. I had a very good appointment with Dr Friedman today. We ended up being late because we hit traffic all over the place. The office did not seem to mind. So they took off all my bandages and I am healing well they also pulled my drain which was an odd feeling. I'm glad that it is gone, means I am one step closer to being done or at least to the next steps. I now can shower freely with out a ziplock bag taped to me. I go back next week to have the steri-strips removed. I have to go on St Pattys day maybe we can grab a beer after? After we left the doctors office we headed downtown to Eately. It was great. I had mussels and clams in a spicy tomato broth. It was yummy. We even saw Mario walking around. We did cheat on our diet and bought some homemade pasta, I don't have the desire right now to make pasta. I go back to Laurie on Friday. Another just before lunch appointment, as some point Jeff will catch on to my scheduling but so far he hasn't said too much :)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Me today

It's me today. I'm doing pretty well. I am sore. It is different from the c-sec pain. We have figured out which meds are working. I am dressed and think I will go home today. I haven't showered but I am scared to, I passed out when I had Maddie. Jeff just called and they are on their way down to see and get me!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Good News

Kim is doing very well. Both MD's said she did great. Nodes negative !!!!! Her spirits are fine,she's alert,talking and joking. Hospital staff ate attentive and nice. We are so grateful for your prayers, positive energy and love. Deb for Kim & Jeff
She is in recovery everything went well.

Breast Surgery 1

Kim's breast surgeon just came to see me and it was great news her lymph nodes were negative and she was thrilled with Kim's anatomy,which makes two of us. She is still in surgery the plastic surgeon started around 9:30am, so far so good!