I wasn't sure how I would bring this topic up. The last thing I wanted was to make myself sound shallow. However after thinking about it I thought it is something on my mind I better write about it.
Last week I was on the phone with probably my longest friend. I have know this family for as long as I can remember, there is not a memory of my childhood that does not have this family as part of it.
So, while chatting about my surgery (not with the doctor one) I said how I really wanted it this year. With out skipping a beat this person said "of course you do. You want to feel whole and normal again, I can not imagine how you feel." Then true to form for this person, he related it to how he would feel walking around with one.... I had not expressed my feeling towards this to anyone, but this is exactly how I feel. If one more person said to me it is only a month I thought I may loose it. It is more than. a month it is 7 weeks because I had my sights set on 12/9. I thought I would go into the new year as a complete new "whole" person. I thought I could put part of 2011 behind me and move forward. I thought I could sign up for swimming lessons for Maddie however I look ridiculous in a bathing suit. I try on multiple shirts each day to see which one does not show off my unevenness. Good thing we are getting into colder weather so I can layer my clothes. Ugh... See I sound shallow. I have no problem not wearing make up, I do it all the time. I have no issue if I am not dressed my best running to the store, I could careless if someone says why is she in sweat pants. However missing my left boob drives me nuts.
No comments:
Post a Comment