Hello April

I want to start by saying this year is flying by. I am sorry for not blogging for a bit. It isn't that I do not want to or that life has been so boring that I can not find topics. I just feel like time is flying by. I will try to be better.
On the cancer front. I a doing pretty well. Actually the cancer side is looking great. The side I had the reduction on has been giving me issue. Radiation is not as targeted as they say. There is scatter so my good side did get some scatter radiation. It has not been healing as quickly as I usually do. A few weeks ago they actually cut the scab off to allow for better healing. The scab was thick and hindering the sides to come together. It also bleed a lot. It had been looking better though I had been keeping it covered. Yesterday I went for a check up and as I got undressed I somehow re-opened it. I was bleeding like crazy. I grabbed gauze and held it to me to try and stop the bleeding, I also started to clean up myself and the floor. I realized I better put the gown On so when Barbara or David came in I was not topless cleaning the floor. Good thing they run late because I had enough time to clean everything and take a seat before they came in. Barbara came in first and said she could fix it. She pulled out a stick with something on it. I knew what she wanted to do and I was not going to let that happen. I was not prepared for that or the pain. I have had my nose cautherized and to be honest I never want it again. So my negotiating begins. What do we do if we don't do that?? Nothing was the response we continue to allow it to heal on its own. We all know now that I need a little help. I began to question the pain, just then David walks in. I am still Ina defensive position, arms crossed an left hand cupping my right boob one to keep the gauze on to stop the bleeding and two to hide it.... We decided that they would just touch it to my skin and if it hurt they would stop. Just then Jeff walks in. I knew I needed to allow this to happen, because if I kept up my protest and acting like a two year old I would be restrained an forced to do it anyway. I was out numbered and weighed so.... I did it!! It barely hurt it was a sting and it stung on and off all day. Nothing crazy. Now it just itches.. I hate that I get myself so worked up over silly things. It is so stupid.