Everyone wants to see me topless

Yeserday we met with the radiation oncologist (Yes, Mazzili).  He was very nice.  He explaned why I deffinatley needed radiation and some of the precautions we would have to take and so on.  I will be starting at the end of Aug (After Lauren and Scott's wedding) and will continue for 33 busines days (skipping Labor day and Yom Kippur).  We spoke about dermititis or the skin burning, we talked about lotions and where the burns will actually be.  Then just before we finished he asked to see my scar but there was no gown (which three of the five medical oncologists didnt have one either) He said dont worry just sit there (I was in a chair) and pull up your shirt.  SO I flashed him.  I really have lost all shame.

Choose to be Happy..

I have been spending a bit more time in our "reading" room than I used to.  The other day I got reading an article in one of my old cooking magazines, it was about controlling your mood.  Every morning we all can choose to be happy or not.  I found this article to be so true.  I try to deal with what is thrown at me and make light of it and move forward.  I try not to let things get me down.  Even yesterday while talking to the radiation oncologist he said his part was much easier than the chemo.  I said I was glad to hear because honestly the chemo isnt too bad.  Yes, I have a bad day but I blame that more on the Neulasta.  I also feel one bad day every other week isnt too terrible either, considering I am getting a combo of two drugs given to me at dose they normally would give every three weeks.  We also spoke about how if you go in to something with a good attitude you tend to have a much better outcome.  He also talked about staying active.  Walking, going back to the gym etc.  I had to cancel my membership due to chemo since they did not want me using the machines while my counts are low (I guess the are germ factories).  So I will be looking for a treadmill for home.  Guess Jeff will have no issues trying to figure out what he can do for me for mothers day this year. 

My, what BIG eyes you have

My Aunt loves to study Maddie and pick out which parts she got from me and which are from Jeff.  Aunt Carol has been stuck on Maddie's eyes.  She kept saying they where neither of us.  I insisted that though a bit rounder than mine, they are mine. Aunt Carol insisted that my eyes are much too small and she went on to examine other family members to see who Maddie got her eyes from.  This has been an on going debate until this Saturday.  We went up to Aunt Carol's to bring chairs up for Easter dinner.  I had a baseball cap on which she made me take off so she could see my hair cut.  From that moment on Aunt Carol no longer questions Maddie's eyes they are mine.  Aunt Carol was beyond nice and said that she could not believe how much my hair hid my striking features.  Please keep in mind the women's birthday is this upcoming Sunday, so she is on good behavior.

Weekend update

Jeff's office was closed on Friday so he was off.  It was really nice for all of us to just hang out.  I felt like it was Saturday all day.  Which is funny to me since he has been working from home more since my diagnosis.  Saturday I sealed our granite counters in the kitchen, I still need to do the bathrooms.  Easter was nice and there was NO Drama which was even better. 

I might just have to shave my legs...

Knowing that ALL my hair should fall out, I have gone the lazy route and not shave my legs.  Well, that hair seems to really want to hang on.  It is rather upsetting I could very well get used to this 5 minute shower thing.  It seems that we are skipping spring again this year and going right into 80 degree weather so I will have to put a little more effort into my morning routine. 

Food

Well my great plan to eradicate ice cream out of my diet failed...  I am still grossed out by the thought of either of the two salads I had before the first treatment.  This week besides the want for beef every chance I can eat, I have added Milk and a huge craving for my Aunt Patty's potato salad.  I did not have cravings while pregnant however with chemo it is crazy. 

Call me Jane.. GI Jane

On Tuesday I noticed that I lost more hair in the shower than normal.  So when I came down stairs I announced to Jeff and Aunt Carol that I thought it was time to shave my head.  They both talked me out of it.  Wednesday being my bad day I didnt want anyone near my head.  Well it happened last night.  Jeff shaved my head.  It feels pretty funny.  I am glad I an no longer leaving tons of hair all over.  It is crazy how it comes out.  I didnt even realize I had as much hair as what was falling out.