Tears in my ears

This morning did not go as planned. As we came in to our kitchen this morning at 7:15 our phone announced that it was Aunt Carols cell. I thought wow she is our early today. If it was just that. They started to flood again so Jeff quickly put on old clothes and headed up with our shop vac. The roads where so bad this morning Jeff had trouble getting out of our neighborhood. Jeff stayed up there and helped uncle Joel until he had to come home.

We headed over to Fishkill to the doctor. We got there a little early and it was like a ghost town. No one around. I found out that I have the first appointment of the day for radiation. I went into the changing room and put on my gown and waited. I was happy and annoyed that they did not come to get ne right away. The longer I wait the more nervous I become. I am not good with anticipation anxiety. They finally came to get me and I thought I was going to get sick. I was shaking like a leaf. The tech that came to get me was very nice as she started to position me I could not hold back the water works. I seriously wanted to run and find Jeff and leave. I thought ahead, I left my purse with Jeff so if I needed to make a quick getaway I could do with our my top and bra. They reassured me I would feel nothing. I still hAted that they would not let Jeff in the room with me. Now to the radiation it wasn't bad at all it was quick and again feel foolish for braking down and being such a woose. I am home and my anxiety level is normal. My jaw hurts from grinding my teeth my neck is killing me from being so tense. I hate that I get myself so worked up. I needto work on that.

So one down 32 to go!!!!