Well if I thought 1.2 was bad, 1.1 is even worse. Today was the first time we have seen Dr Maresca since our initial "I'm back" visit. I was excited to see him, I like him and his dry humor. We did joke today which was nice however we decided that I have other things to do with my weekend than to have a stay at vassar. So they gave me a nupagin injection and I will get another one tomorrow and Friday. The injection is to increase my white blood cells so I can receive chemo. I may need to get these injections for the remainder of my treatments. I go back on Monday for a CBC then chemo again on Wed. I thought about changing my day to Monday but then I would never see Dr. M, he is never in that office on Mondays. So I am sticking to Wednesdays.
As for feelings on this, one of the techs asked if I was upset with this or if I was happy to have a week off. I am not happy, I have a deadline and I am now pushed back a week. I did confirm that there is nothing I can do myself to increase my counts, vitamins, blueberries, beef, or even pleading with them, nothing there will help. That is why I am on the injection. I also started my cipro and will be on germ-a-phob overload.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
If the shoe fits.
**Disclaimer** This post is not directed at any one person, the thoughts are just conversations that have happened around our house.
The other day I was on Facebook, again and one of the links I "like" is Living beyond breast cancer. They posed a question for their forum, "What was the hardest thing for you when your treatment was over?". So many people commented that their hardest thing was that people stopped helping. That even after the radiation has ended that you still feel the effects of it and are still fatigued. I read this post and comments to Aunt Carol and our answer was at least I will not have that let down. Again, please read the disclaimer. I am not complaining. I am just surprised by some peoples inactions. I think we are all disappointed by some people and I think we (Aunt Carol, Jeff and I) have different lists of things that disappoint us. I am not looking for someone to show up and clean my house, I know it is a undertaking and I am specific about it. Or show up every night with food, however it kills me inside when people say, "I would drop food off, however, my cooking does not compare yours" Thank you for the compliments on my cooking, I am very proud of my cooking skills considering I failed home-ec twice. However, home cooked food from anyone is still better than Foo-Chow or Albi's or a chicken from Sams club, which is what we are eating alot of now. Maybe because I am not the "squeaky wheel" people do not understand that this is hard. Chemo sucks. And from what I hear radiation is not a picnic in the park either. I guess it is a good thing that I do not have feeling on most of my left side, at least I will not feel the pain from the radiation.
I remember the first week of my diagnosis my hair dresser introduced me to a 14 year survivor who also was diagnosed in her 30s. One of the things she said to me that I thought was harsh was that this will open my eyes and I will be able to write people off. I thought HOW TERRIBLE. I could never write anyone off. Six months into this, I can see her point. How sad is that. Last night as I was giving Maddie her bath, Jeff and I again brought this topic up. I will not allow peoples inactions get me down or bother me. I will not sweat over it, my life is too precious not to surround myself by people who want to be with us, in good times and shitty times, like this.
The other day I was on Facebook, again and one of the links I "like" is Living beyond breast cancer. They posed a question for their forum, "What was the hardest thing for you when your treatment was over?". So many people commented that their hardest thing was that people stopped helping. That even after the radiation has ended that you still feel the effects of it and are still fatigued. I read this post and comments to Aunt Carol and our answer was at least I will not have that let down. Again, please read the disclaimer. I am not complaining. I am just surprised by some peoples inactions. I think we are all disappointed by some people and I think we (Aunt Carol, Jeff and I) have different lists of things that disappoint us. I am not looking for someone to show up and clean my house, I know it is a undertaking and I am specific about it. Or show up every night with food, however it kills me inside when people say, "I would drop food off, however, my cooking does not compare yours" Thank you for the compliments on my cooking, I am very proud of my cooking skills considering I failed home-ec twice. However, home cooked food from anyone is still better than Foo-Chow or Albi's or a chicken from Sams club, which is what we are eating alot of now. Maybe because I am not the "squeaky wheel" people do not understand that this is hard. Chemo sucks. And from what I hear radiation is not a picnic in the park either. I guess it is a good thing that I do not have feeling on most of my left side, at least I will not feel the pain from the radiation.
I remember the first week of my diagnosis my hair dresser introduced me to a 14 year survivor who also was diagnosed in her 30s. One of the things she said to me that I thought was harsh was that this will open my eyes and I will be able to write people off. I thought HOW TERRIBLE. I could never write anyone off. Six months into this, I can see her point. How sad is that. Last night as I was giving Maddie her bath, Jeff and I again brought this topic up. I will not allow peoples inactions get me down or bother me. I will not sweat over it, my life is too precious not to surround myself by people who want to be with us, in good times and shitty times, like this.
America's Funniest Home Video
If you all remember back MANY posts ago to "The Almost Killer Stingray".. I was on Facebook the other day and Disney Cruise lines said that America's FHV filmed on the Disney Dream. I quickly clicked on the link to see if they filmed on there or if they had people submit videos from there. They filmed an episode on the boat. So I was safe. Since I feel like a big shot since I figured out how to post pics I thought I would try my hand at a video. Please keep in mind neither Maddie or I was hurt, I didnt even black and blue..
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The "J" in June if for Jeff
I will probably get in trouble but here it goes. Today is Jeff's birthday and as much as he says it is not a big deal he LOVES it. He did not want me to make a big deal out of his day this year and I didnt. However, I hope he knows how much I love him and would have gotten up early, cooked, cleaned and had a party if that is what he wanted. I could not imagine having to go through this journey with out him. He has been a rock when I have wanted to run. He has picked up the slack when I have not been able to do things (around the house, with Maddie or even things with Jack). He has gone to every doctors appointment with me, sat next to me at chemo, and has waited on me hand and foot when I just can not seem to get out of my own way. I truly am blessed have such a great friend and partner for LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Feeling good...
I am now at day three after my first Taxol treatment. I am feeling good. I did have some muscle pain on Thursday and Friday and was a little tired, I did take a nap yesterday, but all in all it wasnt that bad. The pain though annoying it was 100 percent manageable. I do have some slight heartburn, however pepcid takes care of that (when I remember to take it) and I itch. The itch is nothing like the PUPP I had when pregnant so I will again not complain about that.
I can not state it enough, the experience I have had at the new Oncology office is wonderful. They are all so caring and sweet. They had me at the numbing of my port though. Could you imagine how much belly aching I would be doing if I was still with the old practice.
I can not state it enough, the experience I have had at the new Oncology office is wonderful. They are all so caring and sweet. They had me at the numbing of my port though. Could you imagine how much belly aching I would be doing if I was still with the old practice.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A little about today
I promise more tomorrow. However a slight fog from the benedryl I am doing really well. I feel really well. More tomorrow, promise
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