What I have been up to

I have felt busier than ever the past week. I started a major undertaking. Cleaning out and re-organizing my kitchen. Here are some pictures of my work.

A little late

I'm only a week late.... Last Friday was an awesome day. It started out that I had to get an oil change. The place was super busy but we killed time by going to grab breakfast and grocery shopping.
Once home Tracy and the kids stopped by. Maddie was napping but Emma and Timmy know that I am fine with them waking her up. The whole act was great to watch on the monitor.
Maddie has so much fun with them. And Emma cleaned up my family room for me!! It looked awesome.
My company did not stop there. Gayle stopped for a coffee on her way to new paltz, what a nice Friday!!!!

Flashbacks..,

I know I have openly talked about how much I miss my Aunt Jean and Uncle Bill. However I had another set of great Aunts and Uncles that I loved just as much.
Lastnight Jeff suggested we go out to dinner. I love to cook however I love going out to eat more. We decided to eat at Vesuvios. Now the restaurant it's self does not bring me back to anything it was the ice cream that did. After our delicious dinner Jeff and I had coffee and we ordered Maddie a small dish of vanilla ice cream. It came out out in a tiny silver dish it so reminded me of being little. Maddie offered me a spoonful of it. Of course I took it. The vanilla ice cream and little ice chunks in it. I said to Jeff this ice cream so reminds me of my Aunt Shirley. He laughed as I tried to explain it. He thought if was funny that I have associated ice cream with family members. Black raspberry with chocolate sprinkles reminds me of Aunt Jean an Uncle Bill. Vanilla ice cream in a silver dish reminds me of my Aunt Shirley that and iced oatmeal cookies!!!! I have no Clue what brand they where but I have tried them all and none of them taste like I remember.

Speaking to an old friend

I wasn't sure how I would bring this topic up. The last thing I wanted was to make myself sound shallow. However after thinking about it I thought it is something on my mind I better write about it.
Last week I was on the phone with probably my longest friend. I have know this family for as long as I can remember, there is not a memory of my childhood that does not have this family as part of it.
So, while chatting about my surgery (not with the doctor one) I said how I really wanted it this year. With out skipping a beat this person said "of course you do. You want to feel whole and normal again, I can not imagine how you feel." Then true to form for this person, he related it to how he would feel walking around with one.... I had not expressed my feeling towards this to anyone, but this is exactly how I feel. If one more person said to me it is only a month I thought I may loose it. It is more than. a month it is 7 weeks because I had my sights set on 12/9. I thought I would go into the new year as a complete new "whole" person. I thought I could put part of 2011 behind me and move forward. I thought I could sign up for swimming lessons for Maddie however I look ridiculous in a bathing suit. I try on multiple shirts each day to see which one does not show off my unevenness. Good thing we are getting into colder weather so I can layer my clothes. Ugh... See I sound shallow. I have no problem not wearing make up, I do it all the time. I have no issue if I am not dressed my best running to the store, I could careless if someone says why is she in sweat pants. However missing my left boob drives me nuts.

More things I am thankful for

I am thankful for fun mail. I love when I get cards in the mail. I have saved ALL of them. When I feel down I re-read them. I know most of you are proud of the way I have tackled this. There have been times that I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. However, then I think children do this. How can I complain when there is a ten year old somewhere dealing with a much harder cancer. I just want my card and note senders to know that I truly appreciate them and they have so helped me along the way, more than I can express here.

I am thankful for old friends. I read something that a true friend is someone that you can not talk to for years however when you do catch up it is like you never skipped a beat. In the past two weeks this has been proven true twice.

Family pictures.

We found this awesome photographer when I was pregnant. Here are this years family shots. Thank you Melissa Surprise from surprise photography for such beautiful pictures.

Thankfulness

I see this on Facebook. That people post what they are thankful for leading up to Thanksgiving, since I have tried my best to keep my cancer off of there. I will not post everyday but I will sum it up here in one post.

I am thankful for Jeff. I could not imagine doing this with out him. He knows how hard to push me when I can't get out of my own way or just want to stand still. He has let me cry when I need to. I know he truly loves me because he looks at me the same way he always has and I look Nothing like I did last year at this time.

I am Thankful for Maddie. She is constant comic relief. She amazes me everyday. She reminds me to slow down an cherish every moment I have with her.

I am Thankful for my Aunt and Uncle. I have no clue how we would have been able to do all we have this year with out them. They have given up so much Of their time together to take care of Maddie and me.

I am thankful that my stupid cancer has made me slow down. To appreciate the moment because you never know when it will be your last.

Attack of pink

Last week was pretty busy. I finished radiation a day late because of the machine. Wednesday I met with Dr M my medical oncologist. Thursday we met with Dr F and I won tickets to a fashion show.

Wednesday after Dr M, Jeff and I went to sams club. There where a couple of things we needed. One being dishwasher soap. As we walked down The isle Jeff pointed out one was pink for breast cancer month. It is not the brand I prefer. As we continued down the isle we noticed that so many products where "pink".
Thursday, one of Dr F's questions was he wanted to know how I was handling beast cancer awareness month. I said fine but it kind of stuck with me. He was the first to ask me that.
That night I went to a great fashion show that was called silhouette of a woman and it was to benefit Miles of hope, a local breast cancer foundation. I won the tickets. It was a great night. I had first asked a friend to go however she was sick so at the last minute Aunt Carol filled in. It was truly a lovely night. At the very end they introduced all the survivors that participated in the show and how long they had survived. They also played that Martina Mcbride song. "I'm going to love you through it", and asked all survivors to stand. I looked at Aunt Carol and said I am not standing. I honestly do not feel I am a survivor yet. I feel I am still battling this. I need one of my team of doctors to tell me I am or maybe Jeff Probst will show up at our front door and crown me a survivor.

It's been a week

Sorry I have not checked in for a bit. I have no real excuse. That freakish snow storm knocked out our power for 32 hours. We could light our fireplaces so that kept it warm. The difference between this storm and the one a year and a half ago that knocked out our power for 5 days is that Maddie is older. She thought is was play time when we put her in our bed. Last time she didn't cry to get in our bed. It's funny she is not very big but some how took up most of our king bed. I called another electrician to get a quote on a generator. He has not called back yet.

My skin is looking so much better. Maybe I should have waited to see Dr F. I have been using this oil Tracy found for me and curel lotion. The combo seems to be working well. I still have a sore spot but it is real tiny and manageable.